The Journal of Chris W Parker

Why I Will Be Avoiding Manchester Pride Weekend.

I’ve nothing against Gay Pride. Not. One. Thing. Live, be free, enjoy your life, whatever that may entail.

But come Pride weekend there seems to be a presence, and I accept it’s probably the minority, who seem set on trying to make a point.

“Oh, look at us, a same sex couple, holding hands in public, causing such a scene!”

Oh, yes. Good for you. Pleased for you.

“But, LOOK at us! Aren’t we controversial? Are we not getting in your straight face, with our gayness?”

Erm, no, you’re not. Really, I’m happy for you. Totally not offended.

“But, but, we’re GAY! We’re FLAMING!”

That might be so, but the only thing you’re starting to be to me, is slightly annoying. Tiring.

“Oh, you straight folk, you’re all in denial”

No, I’m happily comfortably straight, no issues.

I’ve gay friends, I’ve bi friends, I’ve transgendered friends, and even straight friends. I even know racist homophobe bigots, tho less likely to call them friends. Come Pride weekend, being straight suddenly feels like a stigma. Like being the designated driver at an Irish wake. It’s akin to being lectured by ethnic radicals, when I’ve not a racist bone in my body. Much like racism can be a two way street, it seems sometimes homophobia can also be redirected. What’s the opposite of homophobia, a fear of straight people?

I live an ‘alternative’ lifestyle at the best of times anyway. I just don’t fancy blokes. I’ve nothing against anybody’s lifestyle choices.

When is straight pride weekend? And that IS NOT to be confused with homophobic bigot pride weekend…

But the real reason I’m away, is I’m going to Newquay to go camping and surfing, with a rather delicious young lady.

Camping… fnar…

And to all my friends who will be attending, have a hell of a good time.

So… why haven’t I blogged recently?

Cos I’m pretty content. Happy.

But wait! Does that mean I’m all out of whatever the mid-30s version of angst is? Nope, still got plenty to rage about. A few examples, just to redress the balance

• Jools Holland. What a smug bastard. ‘ooh, look at me with all my famous friends, who just happened to stop by’. Yes, we get it. Even your music has an air of smug about it. Pah!
• So, you’re waiting for a bus. Generally I have either my bus pass or money ready for said bus. After all, I am waiting for a bus, I know what to expect, I know how to prepare for the experience. That what the fuck is it with those people (I’m generalising, I mean ‘those women’) who wait until they are on the bus, face to face with the driver, and only then do they start fishing in a bag the size of something I would pack for a 3 month holiday, for their purse, pass, change, etc. Bah!
• Youths. DAMN KIDS, GET OFF MY LAWN. meh.

what’s your favourite beck record?

Hmmm… tough choice. It changes with the wind. Ok, but by ‘record’ do you mean album, or track? If it’s album, then Odelay is always going to be favourite. But Sea Change is damn fine, so mellow, heartbreaking. And Midnite Vultures is a Prince-esque funk fest, and vastly overlooked I believe.

As for tracks, hmm… Loser is and always will be a classic, an iconic song. Hot Wax is always on a playlist. His cover of The Corgis ‘Everybody’s Gotta Learn Sometimes’ is an amazing haunting track. Diskobox always gets me going in a funky weird mood. No Complaints is a lovely summery track. And finally, Sing It Again for that proper folksy vibe.

Ask me anything. You might want to be specific tho, if you want a specific answer. Jus’ sayin, is all.